(last updated: November 2022)
I am notoriously bad at both giving and receiving gifts. I only really give gifts when I’m inspired or when someone tells me an explicit list of options I can choose from (like a registry, for example).
I appreciate the generosity of anyone who’s love language is gifting, and I’ll do my best to receive them well. Here are some ideas.
1.) Donate to Someone Who Needs It
If you want to spend a dollar amount on a gift for me, please consider donating to any of the following charities in my name (in no particular order):
Humanitarian:
- Lucie’s Place (LGBTQIA+)
- Oxfam (General Welfare)
- Doctors Without Borders (General Welfare)
- Feeding America (Hunger)
- Global Human Rights
- Human Rights First
- Human Rights Watch
- It Gets Better Project (LGBTQIA+)
- National Alliance to End Homelessness
- Global Fund for Women
Animals:
Medical:
- Access Reproductive Justice (Abortion and Other Reproductive Healthcare)
- International Planned Parenthood Federation (Education and Reproductive Healthcare)
- Alzheimer’s Foundation of America
- Brain & Behavior Research Foundation
Miscellaneous:
- Southern Poverty Law Center (Social Justice)
- Electronic Frontier Foundation (Net Neutrality Activism)
- NASA (Science, Space, Futurism)
- The Planetary Society (Science, Space, Futurism)
- Wikimedia Foundation (Free Education, Information Transparency)
If you are considering donating to a charity that isn’t on this list please ask me before donating so I can vet them (and possibly donate myself).
2.) Hang Out!
Let’s have dinner/brunch/lunch/drinks together. It doesn’t have to be anywhere fancy. I’d love grabbing pizza or adult beverages with you. We could go to a show, concert, karaoke, escape room, or comedy club together. Outdoor activities like hikes, lazy river floating, kayaking, and beach trips are also great.
3.) Share
Shoot me a message or tell me something cool in person.
Share Interests: Tell me that you watched or listened to something because I recommended it and tell me what you thought of it. Even if we disagree, I love talking about this stuff.
Give Me Advice: I don’t know what to ask about sometimes, but I’ll take any advice you think I might benefit from. As long as its given kindly and constructively, I want to hear it.
Tell Me Something I Did That Mattered For You: If I’ve ever helped you understand something, made you feel less alone/more loved/better, helped you enjoy something more, or had any other impact you want to share, let me know!
Open Up: Tell me something that we haven’t put into words yet.
4.) Make Something
Even if you don’t think it’s amazing, I treasure things my friends make. It’s like a physical manifestation of their love and creativity, and I want to feel that every time I look at it.
5.) Send Me a Card
When someone sends me a card, I smile. I appreciate the simple gift of someone thinking of me and wishing me well, especially if it includes handmade or hand-written elements. I even have a pinboard where I keep my favorites. Contact me if you need my mailing address.
6.) Material Gifts
If you love giving material gifts, I won’t deprive you of that. 😆 If you go this route, I have a few requests:
- Don’t invest in my reaction. I don’t mask my emotions (outside of work or other settings where my survival depends on it), so I’m not going to pretend to be surprised or excited if I’m not. You’ll only get authentic reactions from me. This could be great because you know I’m being honest, but it can also be disappointing for some if I’m not as excited about a gift as they hoped I’d be.
- Don’t spend too much. How much is too much? Assume that I will not react in any way (beyond a thank you) and if that might cause even a small amount of resentment for you, that’s too much. I don’t assume how much disposable income people have, so I trust each person to manage their own budgets.
- Try to buy local and small when possible.
Some gift ideas:
- Stuff Under $100 I Won’t Buy Myself
- Red XIII Sleeping Mask (from Final Fantasy VII)
- Red Figurine (from Transistor)
- Gift Cards
- Trader Joe’s / Berkeley Bowl (Groceries)
- Chewy (Pet Supplies)
- TCGplayer (Magic)
- Society6 (Art)
- Universal: Cash, a Check, Venmo, or PayPal (Please no prepaid debit cards)
- Magic: The Gathering
- Unique cards. Alters, special promos, alternate art cards, and the like are always awesome. Especially if they’re things I can use in my Commander decks.
- A Collector’s Booster Pack from pretty much any set is always nice.
- LEGO
Pretty much anything that uses standard LEGO bricks is appreciated. If I already have a set, I have friends I can trade them with or I can donate them. - Tchotchkes
Especially if they’re from your personal travels - Fun Subscriptions
For when you want me to remember your generosity repeatedly!- Bokksu is a monthly care package of Japanese snacks and treats.
- Cool art magazines are always fun: Hi-Fructose | Juxtapoz
Big Things
If you’re feeling especially generous, here are a few big things on my wish list for someday.
- Floating Shelves for My Bedroom (I need 4 total)
48″ wide, Walnut, Live Edge - KitchenAid Deluxe 4.5 Quart Tilt-Head Stand Mixer
Preferably in Ocean Drive, Shaded Palm, teal or light blue - “No Justice, No Peace” by Felicia Chiao
24″ x 31″ Canvas Print - “Afternoon Nap” by Felicia Chiao
24″ x 36″ Classic Walnut Frame
Thank You
The reason I’m here today (happy, healthy, arguably sane) is because I stand on the shoulders of giants. All of you who love and support me have allowed me to get here. I’m infinitely grateful for that.
I wish you a happy [whatever it is we’re celebrating right now]!