Drowning in Bullshit

I have a really hard time finding pieces of my everyday life that are not complete bullshit.

Monday

I clean my apartment, which really isn’t that necessary but trash day is Tuesday morning and I don’t like just sitting at my computer all day so I clean up after whatever I did over the weekend. I leave the TV on while I clean up and holy crap. Daytime TV shows are so ridiculously stupid that its no wonder the country is going to shit. Every single show seems to be focused on making the viewer paranoid enough to go out and buy useless junk and hassle their husband/wife when they get home from work. If I didn’t have a computer or a DVD collection, I would have ripped my eyes out months ago. THERE IS A GOD DAMN PRESCRIPTION FOR THE CONDITION “NOT ENOUGH EYE LASHES” !!!!!

Tuesday

I go through all of my job search web sites, update my resume, and network with employers. About half of the “job openings” I find are advertisements for schools, money laundering fall-guy crap, or people who want me to design, program and host their web site for $5 an hour. The other half are jobs that aren’t even relevant to me. My graphic design resume gets me emails about jobs in Nursing, Business Admin, Sales, and other ridiculous bullshit that I am not qualified or interested in at all.

Wednesday

Hump day is when I run out of shit to do and I end up just sitting at my computer or finding an excuse to go on errands. In attempts to escape daytime television, I usually end up watching CNN, which is never good. I’m not a democrat, but my parents and most of my family are. I can’t stand seeing their party have every single possible advantage in politics and still not be able to get anything done. Congress is full of the most incompetent people in the country of course, but the American people are too stupid to do anything about it. Voting doesn’t cut it because all you’re doing is putting another chimp into the same suit and the same seat and maybe his tie is blue instead of red. The more I hear about the world, the more I realize why grumpy old men are so grumpy. They’re too intelligent to ignore the repetition of the same mistakes over and over again and they’re too lazy to stand up and do anything about it. “I didn’t vote for that guy, so it’s not my fault” is usually my mantra. You never saw me on the news in handcuffs for attempting to assassinate GW Bush either of course. Sometimes the things that would make the world a better place don’t happen because no one wants to sacrifice themselves for it. And so we continue apathetically trudging along in our circular paths and avoiding confrontation.

Thursday

Thank god the week is almost over. CNN is on again today and I’m pissed about the other side of the coin. While smart people are too lazy to do anything about the problems in our government, the biggest idiots of the US are hitting the streets. They are protesting against children being healthy. They are screaming out that the President is not from America. They are bringing loaded assault weapons to political meetings for no reason at all. They are trying to get congress to pass legislation to rename “fish” to “sea kittens”. They are trying to start movements to rename midgets “little people” or to rename the “handicapped” into “handicapable”. Such huge victories for society! I can’t wait till next year when “Little People” and “Handicapable” are offensive!

Friday

Fridays are the highlight of my week. I play a card game called Magic: The Gathering because I’m an enormous nerd and tournaments are held every Friday night. These cards are printed and marked with different rarities by a corporation that sells them to idiots like me for high prices because they basically say “This slice of cardboard is going to be worth $20 because we designed it to be such a powerful card that you can’t win without it, but we only printed enough to put 1 in every 200 packs of these cards.” It’s like the Federal Reserve pretty much. I wish I could write “This is worth $20” on a piece of paper and then sell it to people for $15 too, but I’m not smart enough I guess.

Saturday

Hooray! It’s Saturday! Now I get to sit at home all day just like every other day except Kati is home too so I have someone to talk to. Maybe we’ll go out someplace if we’re not too broke. Maybe we’ll spend $10 each to see a movie that paid off critics to get good reviews. Maybe we’ll drive downtown to the bullshit capital of the world Las Vegas Blvd. and check out all of the greatest lies ever sold.

Sunday

Man, am I glad I moved out of my parents’ houses when I was 18. I had to go to church every Sunday and be spoon-fed bullshit for an entire hour. Now life is much better because I can spend 12 hours watching football, 6 of which are nothing but commercials for Penis Enlargement, Fast Food, Terrible Beer, Medicine, and generally anything that they can put a half naked woman dancing on the screen to sell. Even the announcers and commentators on Sports stations are full of bullshit. They will never disagree with anything that any NFL representative does unless they are never going to associate with them again. Look at Michael Vick. When everything first happened, people were all talking shit about him, but once he was signed to the Eagles they were all happy that he was getting a second chance.