Freelancing, Losing Friends, and “Have You Trieds”

Throughout the last year I’ve regularly updated friends and family about my job search and resulting budgeting adjustments.

Hold on. I need to recover from the heavy lifting that euphemism is doing.

Okay, I’m back!

Freelancing

When a few friends asked me for some web design/dev work, it was awesome to feel like they cared enough to help me out and I could help them in the process. We even agreed on flexible methods of payment like accepting gift cards to my local grocery stores, public transit cards, or providing meals for me.

I’m not new to freelancing or bartering. This is far from the first time I’ve faced financial hardship and a career pivot. When I’m not financially struggling, I have a strict policy against doing freelance work with friends and family. It tends to ruin the relationship and leave me poorer in the process.

It turns out over a decade since last time, little has changed. With two different former friends, I spent hours of my time doing research, coding, working on design mockups, educating them on how to run their sites, fixing issues in their systems, and communicating back-and-forth with them. In return, I’ve received only the runaround and eventually been ghosted.

Thank goodness I had caps on how many hours I’d do between payments and established a net 30 payment structure or I might’ve sunk even more time and effort into these projects.

So yes, I’ve tried freelancing.

“Have you tried _____ ?”

Dozens of well-meaning folks have run through these with me over the last year. The intentions behind the questions are obviously meant to be helpful, but the conversation has become longer and more emotionally draining — running through a growing list of hundreds of hours of fruitless effort can bring me down a bit — over time.

In effort to expedite future iterations of these conversations, here’s a list of the most common “Have You Trieds” I run through:

• Writing carefully researched cover letters and contacting recruiters directly when applying
• Hiring a professional resume writer
• Applying across a massive scale using Indeed or other job sites using a less specific resume and using automated custom scripts to fill out all the redundant forms
• Applying for temp/contract work
• Applying and interviewing for government work (federal, state, county, and city)
• Walking in to local businesses and handing them a resume in person
• Mobilizing my network both online and in real life
• Freelancing
• Bartering
• Applying for and maintaining government benefits

And because it needs its own subcategory, here’s a non-exhaustive list of things I’ve done to reduce my expenses:

• Added myself to partner’s health insurance (saves ~$400/mo)
• Almost never go out to eat or order delivery (saves ~$200/mo after factoring in increased grocery bill)
• Canceled nearly every streaming subscription (saves ~$60/mo)
• Canceled multiple website domains I owned (saves ~120/yr)
• Reduced therapy sessions by half and asked for sliding scale accommodations (saves ~$200/mo if Kaiser continues to reimburse me, and ~$600 if they stop)
• Stopped going out to regular social events where money is spent (saves ~$200/mo)
• Stopped nearly all charitable donations (saves ~$100/mo)
• Stopped Magic: The Gathering purchases (saves ~$150/mo or more)
• Quit all but one non-free video game (saves ~$15/mo)
• Canceled LinkedIn Premium (saves ~$30/mo)

I’m not canceling my health insurance, gym membership, or therapy appointments because I can’t stop taking care of myself. The same is true for my gender-affirming care, which only costs me about $30/mo for routine blood tests and occasional copays for doctor check-ins. These things keep me alive just as much as my groceries and utilities do.

Gig Economy

I don’t own a car, which makes gig work difficult. Once I arrange for transportation, a job has to pay over $100 for just an hour of work to be feasible. I’m registered on TaskRabbit for my skills though, so perhaps find me there?

What I Need

If you’d like to help me, thank you. Here are some things that would help without spending a dime:

Well-Considered Job Referrals

If you see a job opening that could work for me, send it my way! You can read up on my skills and experience on my LinkedIn profile and send me anything you think I qualify for. There are also tons of other posts I’ve made across the internet for what I’ve done and what I want to do, so just ask if you’re not sure.

• I can commute to the Oakland/Berkeley area or SF near BART stations. (I can’t feasibly commute to San Jose, Alameda, South SF, or other more distant workplaces, but I can consider those options if the pay is very good.)
• I need to make at least $40/hr (~$80,000 annually) to take a gig to tide me over until I find something permanent, and $65/hr (~$130,000 annually) to commit to a long-term role.
• I always consider remote roles that pay less too.

If you can provide an employee referral for a role your company is hiring for, that would be amazingly helpful. Please send those offers my way along with any advice you can give for how to handle the application and interview processes.

(Please don’t send me whole job board sites and just cut me loose in there, unless it’s for a specific company. And please be sure to check links you send beforehand because I’ve received a bunch of scam sites from friends recently.)

Material Assistance

If you have resources you don’t need, I can always use groceries, pet supplies (15 lb. 18 month old chihuahua mix), household supplies (laundry/dish detergent, garbage bags, etc.), or gift cards for places that provide them.

I may need to trade in my full desktop PC for a comparable laptop at some point, much as it pains me to consider it. If you’re interested in buying a solid, gently used gaming PC that was built to run Cyberpunk 2077 at max spec, let me know! (I might sell my desk and printer too) I’m open to trading it for a powerful Windows Laptop that can last me a couple years or for cash I can use to get one.

Buy My Stuff

I’m selling many of my most collectible Magic: The Gathering cards. All the prices are low TCGplayer range or better. I’m trying to regularly update my spreadsheet for my top-price card offerings but feel free to inquire about any cards you’re in the market for and I can check for them. I can meet pretty flexibly in the east bay area to personally hand them off to you, but Emeryville Public Market or It’s Your Move Games in Oakland are both great places to meet.

I’m also going to start looking to downsize my belongings in the coming months. I’ll be selling things like furniture, hobby supplies, and appliances, so keep an eye on my feeds for Craigslist or FB Marketplace posts. Or if you want something you know I have, make me an offer! If things don’t improve soon, I’ll need to rent out or sell my condo, so I need to reduce my footprint either way and I love me some minimalism even if things do turn up soon.

Hire Me!

I’m an exceptionally good helper for regular human stuff. In addition to my corporate skills, I can cook, clean, run errands, manage calendars, watch kids or pets or homes, help with computer stuff, do research, fill out forms, touch up photos, answer/make phone calls, manage home projects, tutor, and more! If we can work out a compensation or bartering situation that works for both of us, let’s do it!

Rent My Place

I’m considering offering my condo for rent as a furnished apartment. I’ll need a decent amount of notice (If this happens, I’d be moving into a friend’s small apartment nearby and living out of my suitcase for a while) to get it ready for new inhabitants, but if you know anyone who needs a furnished 1 bedroom apartment with great amenities in Emeryville near all kinds of public transit and walkable areas within the next year or so, let me know! (I’ll likely be looking for around $2,500/mo)

House Me

If you’re a friend in the Bay Area who is open to housing Rogue and I if things go this way in the coming year, please let me know. I know I’m not the easiest to live with, but I will come to the table with that knowledge and offer ways to make it mutually beneficial as best as I can.

Even though these possible needs aren’t coming until late 2024 or early 2025, I could really use the peace of mind of having a local safety net ASAP. As I mentioned in my freelance story at the start of this post, I would prefer no one offers this assistance half-heartedly, so please be serious if you do. 🥰

Timeline

In efforts toward full transparency, I estimate the following timeline for what I’ll have to do next:

• July 2024: If my mortgage forbearance extension request is denied, I will need to withdraw funds from my rollover IRA that I pulled from my 401k retirement savings for mortgage payments from here out.
• October 2024: I’ll need to begin seriously downsizing my stuff so I can move easily in future months. I’ll also need to file for my second forbearance extension on my mortgage at this point if the July one was approved.
• (November through January are difficult months every year that I just need to survive during, so I’m trying to avoid any major changes or events during this time if possible.)
• January 2025: I will need to list my home for rent or sale to have any hope of getting a buyer/renter with enough time and funds left to move in with friends or family.
• June 2025: My savings likely run out. If I’m still not employed gainfully enough, I’ll likely need to move away from the Bay Area. Possibly back to the east coast into a family home.