My Pride@GapInc Spotlight Interview
I was interviewed by Gap Inc’s employee-led LGBTQIA+ organization PRIDE@Gap Inc for our April 2023 Newsletter! Here’s my interview responses:
Corry Frydlewicz
Pronouns?
They/Them (non-binary)
Job Title?
Lead Front End Developer, based in the SF Bay Area
Where did you grow up? Anything else you’d like to share about your upbringing?
I grew up in New Jersey. My parents are both public school teachers who play music as their passion in their spare time, which is now plentiful in their retirement. My younger brother and I grew up close and he’s now the father of two of my nibblings who are 2½ years and 7 months old, married to my wonderful sister-in-law (who’s also a public school teacher 💗). We grew up closely with our four younger cousins, and our mom’s side of our family. Our parents got divorced when I was about 10 and both remarried happily. We were raised Christian, and while that’s still complicated it wasn’t outright hateful because my parents were among the Episcopalian sub-genre.
Tell us a fun fact about yourself!
I’m a lifelong gamer. My BA is in Game Design, and I leveraged my interests in user experience, graphic design, and coding from everything I learned growing up gaming, wanting to make them, and briefly working in the gaming industry. I especially love indie games I can play in small bursts with a busy life. These days, I’m playing Elden Ring, Hades, Slay the Spire, and I’ve been playing Magic: The Gathering for over 28 years. 😊
What’s your zodiac sign?
🦀 Cancer
What’s your favorite Gap Inc brand & why?
For clothing I care about self-expression and comfort in equal weight, so I mostly wear Old Navy gear. It’s affordable, comfy, and lasts. Stretchy waistbands also give me the flexibility to wear some of the clothing they sell in the “women” category when I find something cute there.
How does “pride” show up for you as an employee at Gap Inc?
I’ve lived fairly “out” since I was a teen, though I didn’t realize I was more than an ally on the sidelines of Pride parades until my thirties. I’ve written deeply personal things openly on my blog since the MySpace, LiveJournal, and GeoCities days, much of them critical of masculine social expectations I was feeling burdened by. Living out loud has rarely been easy, but it still feels easier for me than hiding.
I’ve been mistreated and fired from a few jobs for the many features about me that aren’t “normal” including neurodivergence and my general air of queerness, even while I was doing my best to mask them to be “professional”. Gap Inc is the first workplace I’ve been able to be myself and last this long here. I feel heard most of the time, even if actions aren’t always taken the way I want them to, and that means a lot. Showing and feeling my pride here has been rewarding, freeing, and empowering, which can be a stark contrast from much of the rest of the world. We have several ways we can do better, but it’s a great place to work and I believe we can keep making it better.
What do you wear that makes you feel the most confident?
Lately, I love my overalls from Cherry Picks. They’re comfy, cute, go with whatever top I want underneath them, and they have a little pocket right in front for my phone so I don’t have to worry about it falling out of tiny pockets in other pieces.
What about your LGBTQ+ identity makes you most proud?
I don’t know how to answer that. I only have one way to be and I’ve been figuring out how to describe that to others my whole life. There’s not a particular piece of me that I can set aside as more or less than any other.
If I could reframe the question, I think I’d say the most recent feelings of love I’ve found for myself have come from embracing uncertainty. I don’t have to find a particular niche someone else has tread before me, and I may never feel like I fully understand myself and that’s okay. Having teachers as parents has shown me how learning is a huge part of life, and I don’t need to see an end to that.
What’s one thing about your identity &/or community you wish people knew more about?
People who we don’t relate to, don’t understand, or aren’t attracted to aren’t a threat to us just because of that. We can mind our own business and focus on actual problems hurting people instead.
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
The San Francisco Bay Area! 😊 I love it here. I feel safe, the weather is usually great, I have great friends, and the food is amazing.
What’s your favorite thing about your career?
My ability to work remotely and collaboratively with so many talented people.
Who is your celebrity crush?
Oof. Do I have to pick just one? I’m going to cheat and give three: Oscar Isaac, Natalie Portman, and Common
Who is your personal hero & why?
I try not to do influencer/idol/hero worship stuff for various reasons but if I had to pick one, I’d say Elizabeth Warren. I’ve supported her work for a long time, and I wish we lived in a world where a geek like her (who I relate to) can be seen as who we want leading us. Someone competent, detail-oriented, focused on their goals and effective at getting things done rather than looking like they might get things done someday. (I’m aware she’s made mistakes, as we all have.)
What band or artist should we all know about?
My all-time favorite band, Nine Inch Nails, is well-known, but lately I think everyone should be going to CHVRCHES concerts if they get a chance. They’re great. And everyone should follow Lauren Ys (@squid.licker on Instagram) for visual art. 🎨
Do you have a favorite spot in your home or city? If so, where & why do you love it?
In 2021 I bought a tiny one bedroom condo in the East Bay. It’s the first time I’ve ever owned where I live and the first time I’ve been able to afford to live solo (just me and my dog Kalbi). It’s crazy expensive, but I absolutely love it. My minimal lifestyle in the center of a walkable city where I don’t need to commute or drive anywhere or deal with roommates/live-in spouses is spectacular. It’s the most free and safe I’ve ever felt and I’ll desperately hold onto that.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A retired game designer!
What are your words to live by?
Always punch up. It’s more than just “never punch down” because it’s more about holding the people with power in our lives accountable to use that power responsibly and effectively. Leadership is something I take seriously and try to be the best I can be at, so I want an end to the prominent cultures of passing blame and consequences down the chain to the least powerful among any group.
I want us all to expect more from the people elevated in our society, workplaces, and communities. To not let them get away with accepting awards/raises/bonuses while the people they’re supposed to lead are laid off or otherwise struggling to survive. And when I’m given the power to lead, I welcome that burden too.
I’ve been meaning to do a full deep dive on my “always punch up” philosophy for many years now, so this is just a taste of a long-procrastinated article I’ll eventually get out in the world.