The Fuckin’ Dirty Rat

161 words published on Dec 10, 2024

I was deleting all my Facebook data and stumbled upon some status updates from May 2014 where I had to delete all my coworkers from my friend list because one of them tattled on me to our moron executive boss. This dude was 100% a random MBA networking hire who added absolutely nothing but waste to the company, and I can say that with a decade of hindsight.

Facebook post from a few months before: If you're attempting to have a conversation with me while you're standing at the urinal, you're probably too extroverted. — He was the worst.

As bad as he was, the person I later found out tattled on my (non-public) social media posts venting about him is worse. She thought she could score some points by sucking up to this dude, and maybe it got her better severance when she was laid off a few months later. A victim to the cutbacks the moron executive proposed before he helped the rest of the execs sell the formerly close-knit company for parts over the next few years and sell his stocks like some wannabe Bain Capital scumbag.

Facebook post: "You know that thing you do that you went to college to learn? The one you've spent over a decade refining in the field? The one I have not even an introductory level of knowledge about? Yea, that thing. Why is it taking so long? Why is it so expensive? It shouldn't be that hard. It's just a website." — So much of what he did went into my “how *not* to manage people” file in my mind palace.

It took me years to trust coworkers again after that. I didn’t open myself up to anyone at my next job at Gap until I’d been there three years. And nothing went wrong. I’m still friends with many of them now. This one shitty person ruined work friendships for me for years.

Facebook post after I deleted dozens of friends to sweep out the rat: Sorry if you're a real friend that recently got deleted. I've had to adopt a new policy of 'no current coworkers'. If you feel like we should reconnect, please reach out to me directly.

Some folks might say “Don’t be friends with co-workers. You can’t trust them.” But fuck that. If someone decides to be an opportunistic rat, that doesn’t reflect on me and my openness to connection. It reflects solely on them being a rat.

I’m obviously still mad at this person.