Yes Means Yes
One practice I’ve adopted as a personal rule in recent years is: Yes means yes. I promise to never do anything I don’t want to, and I don’t want my partners, friends, or family to either.
If someone asks me to do an activity with them, and I say yes, they can take that yes for an answer. I promise I will not say yes out of obligation, guilt, or people-pleasing. If I’m spending time with you, it’s exactly what I want to be doing, and I want others to mean yes in the same way.
I can handle rejection and [kindly delivered] negative feedback. I won’t take it personally if others don’t do something I ask. “I don’t feel like it” is plenty enough reason, but I generally don’t ask for one. And I appreciate when others treat me the same way.
I’ve spent too many years settling, placating, and performing for others. I’m willing to bet anyone reading this feels similarly. Sadly, we still generally have to do these things at work as a matter of survival, but I don’t want it in my personal life.
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