If Then Patterns and Boundaries

An interesting thing I’ve found true during my relationship counseling and since: As a coder, I began thinking of boundaries this way instead of as rigid laws of nature that are impossible to break without the entire system being destroyed. Since then, when I’ve communicated my boundaries to someone, I’ve always done what I consider a coding best practice and included an “else” statement.

Because there are always blind spots to even the simplest things. Providing a path forward in those unexpected circumstances can keep my dignity, safety, and sometimes my relationships intact when they come up.

Now, a year after my realization that I’m autistic, one of the writers in the Neurobeautiful community shared this, and it feels like it’s become a cross-section of previously disparate parts of my life. A truth that many arrived at from different origins. Perhaps that gives it more weight.

Let me know if I didn’t explain this well enough and I can give examples, but for now I just wanted to share it. ❤️