FFS Before, In-Progress, and After Photos
Hopefully anyone reading this has already seen my explainer article about Facial Feminization Surgery, what I plan to do for mine, and my long process of getting it. This much shorter post will be a photo diary of my progress before, at the hospital, healing, and eventually after FFS.
(Yes, I’m still very excited!)
I’m going to do my best to keep a neutral expression in these. None will be retouched, and I won’t wear makeup or dress up for any of it. I have other posts where I share photos of me smiling and prettied up — and I’ll likely do even more of those after I recover too — but this one isn’t the place for it.
1 Year Before FFS
I took these photos for Kaiser when I met my surgeon a year ago.
4 Days Before FFS
I took these today. Not much has changed yet. I’m nearing my 3 year mark on HRT so facial changes at this point feel pretty minor.
Looking at my face like this is tough for me. I see unpleasant things I know others don’t, but that’s just how it feels. This post feels more vulnerable than others where I talk about really personal and embarrassing stuff. People who also suffer from dysphoria and/or dysmorphia likely get this, but I want to explain that for the rest.
Surgery Day
(August 3, 2026)
Warning! In case it isn’t obvious, the coming photos are going to look pretty brutal. If you don’t want to see me looking like I got hit by a bus on each side of my face, just wait for my next photo post after I heal more.
FFS Post-Op Day 1
I was discharged from the hospital around noon and couldn’t wait to get home.
Bethany designed this medication timetable when we got home to make sure I didn’t have any gaps in pain relief or missed any steps. 💖
FFS Post-Op Day 3
This was probably the worst recovery day after leaving the hospital. Nothing is really worse than staying overnight in the hospital, but I was swelling and still barely able to see out of my right eye on day 3.
Day 3 I was able to walk alongside Bethany as she walked both our dogs. They’re a handful individually, but a tornado of craziness when you have to hold both leashes at the same time. I’m supposed to get up and walk around when I feel able, and the fresh air felt good. I definitely felt exhausted after about 15 minutes and maybe two blocks worth of walking.
FFS Post-Op Day 4
This was the first day I was allowed to shower, and it felt so good. I still look absolutely ravaged and my hair will take a long time to recover from daily shampooing, but at least I felt cleaner.
FFS Post-Op Day 5
On day 5 I felt good enough to walk an extra block to my favorite cafe (Black Diamond) for an iced Vietnamese coffee.
I was a little self-conscious about my appearance but I decided there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Yea, I look like shit, but there’s nothing wrong with why. Sure, people might stare, but that’s fine too. I look weird. I might stare a little at someone who looked like this too. It doesn’t mean anything bad.
One of my neighbors was really sweet and told me I looked great. She’d gotten facial surgery last year and told me how hard her recovery was too. It felt really nice to connect with her about that. I had no idea she had surgery either, and she looks great today after getting some of the same stuff done, so that was reassuring.
Around this time, I started being able to manage my own meds overnight so Bethany could get some much-needed sleep. Before bed — after my midnight doses — I used my stacking pill cases to pre-fill my 3am, 6am, and 9am meds. The small colored dice represented my Nasal Spray (purple) and Mouthwash (green) to remind me to do those too. Then Bethany could switch off her alarms for those times and help me in the morning.
FFS Post-Op Day 6
FFS Post-Op Day 8
I was so excited for this day because my stitches — especially the ones in the corners of my lips — were so annoying and uncomfortable. My doctor was going to remove them at my first in-person doctor appointment since surgery.
FFS Post-Op Day 9
After getting the stitches and staples out, I could scrub my face and scalp a little more thoroughly in the shower, so that feels better too.
As you may be able to tell, it’s getting easier for me to relax and smile. It helps that Bethany tells me I’m pretty right before snapping these and I can’t help but smirk a little.
FFS Post-Op Day 11
Every day feels a little easier. I think this might’ve been my first day totally off opioid pain relievers. 🎉
Sadly, this means the week and a half of never laying down fully horizontally has really messed up my chronic neck and back issues. So those pains will likely continue until I can side-sleep again.
FFS Post-Op Day 12
That day I was meeting someone for coffee for my city council campaign (the work must continue!), so Bethany helped me style my hair as normally as we could. I didn’t want to scare them too much. 😄
It’s difficult, because:
- I’m not allowed to brush or comb my hair back because it might tug on my healing incisions
- I’ve been shampooing my hair every day for over a week at this point. I normally shampoo only like once per season because it dries my already dry hair out so much — I usually just condition. It feels so crispy right now.
- I can’t really whip my head around to dry it or let my natural curls organize themselves like I normally do. The swelling and neck pain make that hard.
But it still felt good to get a little more normal that day. I felt cute, considering how early I still am in recovery.
FFS Post-Op Day 13
At this point it just feels like a steady improvement of less swelling, lightening bruises, and healing incisions.
I’m returning to work (remotely) tomorrow, but I’m not ready to show my face on camera yet for meetings. That might take me another week or two, we’ll see.
Mental/Emotional Progress
Mentally, it’s really interesting to look back at my first photos on this page and think I look weird there. Especially since I still don’t really know what my face will look like another month or two from now yet. I definitely don’t miss my old face, even now when I still look so messed up.
I went to a small get-together with my friends today, and it was really funny, weird, and good to see their reactions. Many of them didn’t recognize me at first. I thought that’d feel bad, but it sort-of validated that the changes I want are happening.
More to come!
I’ll add more here as I progress for at least the next few months.
The rough healing timeline is:
| Day 3 | Peak swelling, pain, and discomfort |
| Day 7 | Things start to settle into normalcy, but still quite swollen |
| 2 Weeks | Can return to work and do light activities, swelling should be less noticeable |
| 1 Month | Can do all my normal activities, swelling should be mostly done, but will continue to reduce |
| 6 Weeks | Can get my eyebrows and hair done, can do my full skin routine and wear makeup, and will probably finally feel like myself again. |
| 1 Year | Completed recovery |