Mr. Cartminez from South Park
Mr. Cartminez from South Park

Meritocracy

This post is unfinished. I published it anyway because I believe it still has some value. On the bright side, it'll probably be short! 😇
(comment or contact me to request an update about its subject matter)

I did a vlog about the myth of Meritocracy and one of my favorite episodes of South Park, “Eek, A Penis!” (S12 E5)

My Meritocracy Vlog

Cartman is selected to go to a struggling inner-city school and teach the kids there how to get better test scores. I love this episode because it speaks volumes about the lies that we tell constantly in our society.

Timestamps and Quotes from the Episode

8:01 Intro to Cartman’s Class

The reason that you think you can’t get into college is because you haven’t been taught how to cheat properly.

How do you think white people always get ahead? Because they cheat all the time.

Bill Belichick and the Patriots cheat regularly and win. They even got caught and no one cared.

If you cheat and fail, you’re a cheater. If you cheat and succeed, you’re savvy.

Bill Belichick proved that in America it’s okay to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.

9:43 The Basketball scene

Cartman challenges a student to a pick-up basketball game.

He pulls out a collapsible baton and cracks the student on the knee every time he tries to make a play.

No matter how many times you say I cheated, the scoreboard says 2-0.

11:55 Cheating Lesson

Videotape the defense. The defense is the test.

When caught cheating, say what Bill Belichick said:

I misinterpreted the rules.

“Now you sound like white people!”

14:20 Abortion scene

When a female student gives up hope of going to college because she’s pregnant, he encourages her to have an abortion.

The rules she was taught as a poor Catholic child don’t apply in the real world.

Why do rich white girls get ahead in life? Because they get abortions when they’re young. They get pregnant, but they want to go to college, so they just cheat.

Mexicans are told not to cheat. ‘Don’t cheat! You have to raise that child!’ So then you have to raise a child while those rich white girls go off to college.

It is at our hardest times that we must cheat our very hardest!

There are rules that we’re taught. And there are the real rules underneath them. The ones that are actually enforced in our society.

College Admissions Scandal

https://abovethelaw.com/2019/03/willkie-farr-chair-caught-in-college-admissions-scandal

No Privilege Is Enough

  • School budgets determined by property values
  • Redlining
  • Access to tutoring, standardized test prep courses
  • Legacy and Alumni donations (legal bribery)
  • Having leisure time to educate kids at home
  • Never missing meals

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2018/03/28/redlining-was-banned-50-years-ago-its-still-hurting-minorities-today

What Do We Get Out Of A College Education?

It’s not what you know, but who you know

Unknown

The phrase has been around since as early as 1914.

https://www.quora.com/Where-did-the-saying-its-not-what-you-know-but-who-you-know-originate

College admissions are gatekeepers. They have to be forced to admit minorities and poor people, and yet they often still cheat to avoid doing that as much as they can.

The Real Rules

  • Be born rich
  • Be white
  • Be cis, and act like your “traditional” gender role
  • At least pretend to be heterosexual
  • At least pretend to be Christian
  • Be conservative to maintain the status quo

To do otherwise is to be targeted by the fake rules for punishment and silencing.

Nixon and The War On Drugs

https://www.cnn.com/2016/03/23/politics/john-ehrlichman-richard-nixon-drug-war-blacks-hippie/index.html

Targeted black people and “hippies”

Laws were written specifically to target specific groups of people, not behavior.

If black people and hippies disproportionally liked cotton candy, we’d have had a war on cotton candy.

The 2000 Presidential Election

When Al Gore won the election against George W Bush, 

This is our “Meritocracy”