Storytime: Gay Fetishization

When I was in college, I wasn’t exactly the epitome of cishetero-ness. My art school friend with benefits (a hetero cis woman) could tell, like many others did. She knew I carried myself differently, had lots of LGBTQIA+ friends, and hung out at gay clubs sometimes.

She had Yaoi fantasies and occasionally encouraged me to experiment with men when we went out. I didn’t enjoy any of these experiences, and for a while it was a sort-of “confirmation” that I wasn’t gay. I had this ignorant idea that every gay man wants to make out with strangers in clubs. (gee, I can’t imagine where I internalized that from). Since I didn’t enjoy that, I was — by process of elimination — the other side of the binary orientation definition.

This set me back several years in being open to experimenting with people I would maybe like kissing if I got to know them first and wasn’t pressured into it. I missed many opportunities to learn about myself.

I get that I’m solely responsible for my own actions, but this fetishization stuff can really suck sometimes.

Reference Link: Fetishization of the Queer Community